Where did "The Diary" go?

I took "The Diary Of A Child Molester" down. I'm serious about publishing the novel, and posting it on the internet is a good way to give it away. I want to keep it.

I also have two screenplays in the works. One is called "Finishing Touches." It's about my grandmother's funeral. The other is called "Leaving Prison." It's about a prison escape and the manhunt that follows.

I'm also going to be writing for the "Urban Politico" blog. My topic areas to begin with are Alternative Economies and Corrections In America. I don't know much about economy, so I will be learning as I go. My first article will be about the Gift Economy at Burning Man, the annual experimental community in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada. Other upcoming topics will include alternative currencies, not a new idea historically but being tried in some places here in the U.S., and turning our workforce model on its head. What if we picked our own jobs? I'm open to other suggestions for inquiries into alternative economy ideas.

I will never be done writing about Corrections In America. I recently wrote a letter to the editor of our local newspapers (Spokesman-Review and The Inlander), taking a position against plans for a new jail in our county. I could write an article about every point I made in my letter.

Of course, I'm not limited to these topic areas. I can write about anything I like. I think it's going to be a lot of fun, and writing non-fiction is reminiscent of my years as a reporter.

So that's what's going on. There aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done, so I'm going to have to get a work ethic about my writing. With Tre starting full-day school this year, I'm hoping I will be able to develop a daily writing routine. I signed up for a Writing Workshop and joined a Writers Group, so making my writing more of a priority and that feels right.

Serenity's Kitchen

I have a new writing project. It's a radio show, intended to be like the old time radio shows, but set today. It's called Serenity's Kitchen. Serenity is a mother of 3 and a school teacher. She is very organized and on top of things. She likes order, planning, completion, tidiness. Her husband Warren is a financial planner. He is distracted, clueless, easy-going. They have two teenagers, Mariah 15 and Wendell 14. Mariah is a great kid. She and her friends always have a cause or a mission they are on. But they also have a tendency of getting in trouble. But good kids. Wendell is a chemist. He's the egghead of the family. He and his friends are Trekkies. They build rockets for fun. Tre is the youngest at 7 years old. He's just a happy little boy, trying to figure out what is going on.

Serenity's mother Evelyn and Warren's father Elmer also live with the family. Evelyn lives in a little cottage out back. She has an herb garden and teaches pole dancing at the gym. She is very proud of her youthfulness and good health. She also knows just what everybody else needs to take to cure whatever ails them. Evelyn is an old hippie and a free spirit. Elmer lives in the basement apartment in the house. He is a retired Naval Officer. Elmer knows all about sinking ships, but his grandchildren are beyond his comprehension, as is his counterpart, Evelyn. Elmer recites poetry when nobody else is around. He's gruff in his manner, but has a soft heart.

Everyone's paths cross in the kitchen.

Each episode is about 10 minutes long, and the show airs every other week on KYRS Thin Air Community Radio in Spokane. It's one segment of the Seasoned Players Program, every other Sunday from 4-5 p.m.

It can be streamed on the internet at www.kyrs.org.

Being the Producer/Director of the show is focusing my creative energy. I love writing scripts, so it's great fun for me. I'm surprised to find myself writing jokes. I didn't know I had it in me. But I really like the show as comedy, not the slapstick kind, but the human kind.

The first episode, "Waiting For The Mail" aired this past Sunday. I'm really happy with the diversity of voices in the cast. You can always tell who's talking, they all sound so different. I'm also playing Evelyn, which is great fun for the actor in me.

Well that's what's happening. I'll post the scripts if I can't figure out how to post the audios. I hope I can figure out how to post the episodes, so you can listen to them.

Script: Around The Corner

I wrote this in response to a prompt for my writing class. All I could think of was this walk in the canyon. There's no drama, no plot, no characterization, in fact there's absolutely nothing. But it's a great memory just the same.

Around the corner: A Memoir
By Roseanne Lasater


Two people walk hand in hand along the edge of a canyon. The Sun is high and it’s the middle of August. They walk hand in hand.


ROSE

Wow, look. Here’s the trailhead.

RICHARD

Yes.

ROSE

It’s tempting, huh?

RICHARD

It sure is.

ROSE

What do you think? Do we have time?

RICHARD

Well. We have a little time.

ROSE

Okay, so we won’t go far, okay?

RICHARD

We can’t go far. We have to get back pretty quick.

ROSE

Wait. How long have we been gone?

RICHARD

Oh, probably less than ten minutes. Not long.

ROSE

Well they’re probably okay, don’t you think?

RICHARD

Yeah. Muffy was asleep. She’ll probably sleep at least an hour.

ROSE

Yeah, right. And Big Daddy and Erin are hanging out together on the edge, checking out the view.

RICHARD

Yeah. Can we see them from here?

ROSE

No, I don’t think so.

RICHARD

Oh. Well that should keep them busy for a little while.

ROSE

Yeah.

RICHARD

But we can’t leave them too long.

ROSE

Right. I know.

RICHARD

Dad needs to eat pretty frequently because of his diabetes.
ROSE

Yeah…So, what do you think? Can we go a little ways?

RICHARD

Well, yeah, I think we’ll be okay. Just a little ways.

ROSE

Just down there, around the corner. Okay?

RICHARD

Okay, just a little way. Just around the corner.

ROSE

Oh wow.

RICHARD

Yeah.

ROSE

Is that amazing, or what? The view completely changed.

RICHARD

You’re right, it did.

ROSE

Wow.

RICHARD

Wow.

ROSE

It’s amazing.

RICHARD

Oh, look. We can see a donkey train, right down there. Do you see it?

ROSE

Where?

RICHARD

Down there.

ROSE

Whoa. They’re like ants. Even smaller than ants. At first I couldn’t even see them.

RICHARD

Well, let’s go around that next corner.

ROSE

Yeah.

RICHARD

Oh my God. It just gets better and better! Can you believe it?

ROSE

No. Well, yes. Now that we’ve been here a few days, it’s kind of sinking in.

RICHARD

They say it takes a couple of days.

ROSE

I know. It was like all of a sudden a big space opened up inside my brain, and then I could comprehend how big this is. Like my brain had to make room for it.



RICHARD

That’s an interesting way of putting it.

ROSE

Wow. Over there I can see a little bit of the river. Do you see it?

RICHARD

Yeah. You know, there’s an Indian tribe that lives down there?

ROSE

Cool.

RICHARD

Okay, let’s go around the corner and see what’s there.

ROSE

Okay.

(Stops short and motions for Richard to stop and be quiet.)

RICHARD

(Whispering) What do you see?

ROSE

There’s a doe and a fawn. On the trail.

RICHARD

Oh my God, she’s gonna nurse it right here in front of us!

ROSE

Shhh. Don’t scare them.



RICHARD

Look at that. How cool!

ROSE

Wow.

RICHARD

Have you ever been that close to a doe nursing a fawn before?

ROSE

Unh uh.

RICHARD

Me either.

ROSE

Oh, look, those people got too close.

RICHARD

Yeah, she’s going.

ROSE

Dang!

RICHARD

Did you get a picture?

ROSE

Are you kidding? I never even thought to take my camera out.

RICHARD

Oh, too bad.

ROSE

There they go. Right up the side. Amazing.

RICHARD

Well, that was a treat.

ROSE

Really. No kidding.

RICHARD

Isn’t this great?

ROSE

This is awesome!

RICHARD

(Sighs) Well, maybe we better head back. I know, you want to go around that next corner, right? So do I. So do I. But babe, we can’t leave them for too long.

ROSE

I know. Okay, just one more corner. Okay? Honest, just one more. Come on. Please?

RICHARD

Okay. One more.

ROSE

Oh my God. Would you look at this view?

RICHARD

Wow.


ROSE

We’re in the middle of the Grand Canyon!

RICHARD

It really feels like it, doesn’t it?

ROSE

Really.

RICHARD

Oh God.

ROSE

What?

RICHARD

I can’t stand it! I have to see what’s around the corner!

ROSE

(Laughs) I know, it’s insane. It’s like a magnet that keeps pulling us in further.

RICHARD

Babe, this is great!

ROSE

We have to do this again when we have more time.

RICHARD

Yeah, right.

ROSE

By the way do we have any water?

RICHARD

I don’t. Do you?

ROSE

Nope.

RICHARD

Shit.

ROSE

Damn.

RICHARD

You know, I think we’d better turn back now.

ROSE

Yeah, I know. We should.

RICHARD

It’s the hottest part of the day.

ROSE

Yeah, and it’s all uphill going back.

RICHARD

Yeah.

ROSE

Okay.

RICHARD

Wait. Let’s just go around the next corner.

ROSE

Just a peek.

RICHARD

Really fast. And then that’s all.

ROSE

Right.

RICHARD

Right.

ROSE

Really.

Script: Over Easy

(An older man and a younger woman enter a diner and sit down at a vacant table.)

CAROL
Thank you so much, Dr. Greisenhaft, for having breakfast with me today. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I've been struggling with this diagnosis for some time now. And I was afraid you wouldn't have time to see me, or that you would have forgotten who I am. It's been such a long time since I was your student, after all.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Yes, yes. Very well. Now, where was I?

CAROL
Oh. Well, you were about to explain your criteria for distinguishing between senile dementia and Alzheimer's. Specifically, distinguishing between Multi-Infarct and Alzheimer's.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh. Yes, of course. Had I started yet? Where was I?

CAROL
You were about to begin, Sir.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh, yes. Yes of course. Now let me see. You wanted to know about the differences between...What was it again?

CAROL
Senile dementia and Alzheimer's. You see, I have a case and it's been very difficult to diagnose. The patient displays symptoms of confusion, forgetfulness, wandering off, and laughing or crying at inappropriate times. It looks like it could be Multi-Infarct Dementia, but it could also be classical Alzheimer's. I've never seen anything like it before. And I do need to make a diagnosis before I can develop a treatment plan. So I was hoping you could help me, since you are an eminent expert in this field.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Hmm. Yes. Well, to begin with...

WAITRESS
What'll it be?

DR. GREISENHAFT
What's that you say?

WAITRESS
I said what'll it be? What do you want to eat?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh, great. I'm starved. Yes, indeed. Let's order, shall we?

CAROL
Yes, let's. By all means, doctor.

WAITRESS
So, what'll it be?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Well, just bring me the special. Without delay.

WAITRESS
Which one?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Which one?

WAITRESS
Yeah, which one. There are two. Up there (points) on the chalkboard. You see?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh. Okay, then. I'll have the top one.

WAITRESS
Good choice. How do you want 'em?

DR. GREISENHAFT
How do I want what?

WAITRESS
Well, your eggs, of course!

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh, my eggs. Well whatever you think is best.

WAITRESS
(sighs) Scrambled, over easy, or sunny side up?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Well whatever I said is fine.

WAITRESS
You haven't said anything. That's the point. (looks at Carol) Can you help me out here?

CAROL
Uh, doctor, the waitress needs to know if you want them scrambled, over easy or sunny side up.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Um, well I like my yolk soft but the white shouldn't be runny. Which one is that?

CAROL
He'll take his eggs over easy and I'll take the omelet. Thank you.

WAITRESS
Yeah. No problem. (leaves)

DR. GREISENHAFT
Was that woman trying to be difficult?

CAROL
No, I don't think so, doctor. No, she was very polite actually, and patient. So, you were saying doctor?

DR. GREISENHAFT
What? Was I saying something?

CAROL
About the differences?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh. Yes. The differences. You've got to be alert, you see. Because every case is different, you know. Unique. Totally unique. And as a doctor, you've got to learn to be flexible, and to embrace the unique features of each and every new case. You'll be a better doctor if you can learn to do that.

CAROL
Every case of dementia is unique? But doctor, there are two main types, two broad classifications of dementia...isn't that right?

DR. GREISENHAFT.
Who said anything about dementia?

CAROL
You did, doctor. You were explaining the differences to me. Don't you remember? To help me diagnose my case?

DR. GREISENHAFT.
Not really dear. But I do find that it's awfully hard to think on an empty stomach. Don't you find it that way?

CAROL
Yes, yes I do. I'm sure the food will be here soon. Uh, perhaps we should wait until we've eaten to continue.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Don't be silly, my dear. Let's continue our discussion. What were we talking about?

CAROL
Well, for example, this patient has no idea that he is forgetful. He's completely unaware. So at first I thought it had to be Alzheimer's. But on further examination, not all the signs were there. So that's when I started to wonder if it could be Multi-Infarct Dementia. What do you think, doctor?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Well I was thinking...we've been sitting here for quite a while, and I was wondering when the waitress is going to get here and take our order. I'm starved.

A Box Of Crayons

PAUL
There’s nothing worse than this incessant grayness.

DANNY
Oh yeah. You mean like the clouds are gray? The concrete is gray? The street is dark gray? You mean like that?

PAUL
Yeah, I mean like that.

DANNY
That car over there is light gray…or would you call that silver?

PAUL
What?

DANNY
That car. Is it silver or gray?

PAUL
Umm, it’s silver gray.

DANNY
Like the colors in a big box of crayons, you know?

PAUL
Shades of gray in crayons? What are you talking about? There ain’t no shades of gray in any box of crayons I ever seen!

DANNY
Oh. Sorry… What are you so touchy about anyway? I just meant, you know, like “Yellow Green” and stuff like that.

PAUL
Yeah, well there ain’t no yellow green in this box of crayons, okay?!

DANNY
No. No green at all. No any shade of green. Green’s kind of a Spring color.

PAUL
Yeah, right.

DANNY
Spring and summer.

PAUL
Yeah.

DANNY
Hey, I have a green plant in my apartment!

PAUL
Stop it! You’re not cheering me up.


DANNY
I don’t know, man. It kind of cheers me up. You know? I’m just saying there are shades. Shades of gray and shades of green…doesn’t that cheer you up?

PAUL
No. That does not cheer me up.

DANNY
Well you’re just being difficult. That’s a very reassuring thought.

PAUL
Oh yeah. In what way?

DANNY
Well, in the way…in the way that everything isn’t black and white.

PAUL
I’m not so sure about that.

DANNY
What? You think everything is black or white?

PAUL
In a way, yes.

DANNY
But what about all the different shades of gray?

PAUL
That’s just black and white that are on the way.
DANNY
On the way to what?

PAUL
On the way to being black or white. In transition like.

DANNY
Yeah, but if that was true, then everything would end up either being black or being white. And that’s not how it is. In fact, I think there are more shades of gray than there is black and white.

PAUL
No, no, no. Everything is in transition. Even the black and white.

DANNY
That’s deep.

PAUL
The black fades to gray and the white fades to gray, and then they all fade all the way back again.

DANNY
So the white ends up black and the black ends up white, but only for a while.

PAUL
Something like that, yeah.

DANNY
Wow. That happens all the time in my laundry, man. The white shirts turn gray and the black jeans turn gray, and the underwear turns gray.
PAUL
Alright, alright. I don’t need to know the details.

DANNY
I’m just saying. But I guess it’s not really the same.

PAUL
Oh? How so?

DANNY
Well the laundry. It seems like everything just ends up the same drab shade of gray in the end, and then it stays that way.

PAUL
We’re not talking about laundry, you dummy. Jeez. Sometimes you can be really thick, you know that?

DANNY
Well, you don’t have to be mean about it. And anyway, I am not dumb. I just see things different, that’s all.

PAUL
Yeah, I know. Your whole world is just like a box of crayons. Yours just need to be sharpened, but all the colors are there.

DANNY
Yeah.

PAUL
I wish I could say the same for myself.
DANNY
What do you mean?

PAUL
I think I’m missing a few colors.

DANNY
From your crayon box?

PAUL
Yeah, from my crayon box.

DANNY
Oh, what colors are you missing?

PAUL
Well, right now I’m really missing blue.

DANNY
Oh, I get it! You’re missing blue because the sky is so gray, right? Instead of being blue. Is that what you mean?

PAUL
Yeah. That’s it alright. You’re not so dumb after all.

DANNY
I told you I’m not dumb!

PAUL
That’s what I said.
DANNY
Oh, okay. So what do you want to do now?

PAUL
You know what I wonder?

DANNY
What?

PAUL
I wonder why they call the blues the blues.

DANNY
I know about the blues.

PAUL
Yeah?

DANNY
Yeah. My Mom used to get the blues. All the time. That’s what she said, you know? She said, “Danny I’ve got a bad case of the blues.” And then she’d have another drink.

PAUL
Oh.

DANNY
Yeah. And later I’d put her in bed. So one time, I wanted to see what it was like, you know?

PAUL
Oh you did?

DANNY
Yeah, so after I put her to bed, I had some drinks. Boy did I ever have the blues that night!

PAUL
You think so?

DANNY
It was bad. It was really bad. And there was nobody there to put me in bed.

PAUL
Uh oh. So what happened?

DANNY
So I slept on the floor. The next day Mom was mad because I drank her Scotch. But I told her not to worry, I would never do that again.

PAUL
Oh really?

DANNY
No way. I didn’t want to have the blues like that again.

PAUL
Danny boy, you lead a charmed life.


DANNY
I do? What does that mean?

PAUL
It means you will never ever get the blues again, buddy. Not like me.

DANNY
You mean you don’t have a charmed life?

PAUL
Not even a little bit. Nope. I have a cursed life.

DANNY
Whoa. That sounds like something bad.

PAUL
Yeah, well it’s a double-edged sword.

DANNY
Oh, you mean like cursed on one side and charmed on the other?

PAUL
Ha ha. Very funny.

DANNY
So like the white and the black?

PAUL
What?

DANNY
Like the white and the black. The cursed and the charmed. Fading into each other?

Movies In The Afternoon

MOVIES IN THE AFTERNOON
By Roseanne Lasater

Two people walk together through the park. They stop and sit on a park bench and watch the people walking by.

STEW
Thank God I wasn’t an only child.

SHIRLEY
Why do you say that?

STEW
Well, let’s see. Have you ever been the only person in a movie theater?

SHIRLEY
Um…no, I don’t think so.

STEW
Well, just imagine it.

SHIRLEY
Why would I be alone in a movie theater?

STEW
Okay, so wait. Just try it on, okay?

SHIRLEY
Okay. I’m alone in a movie theater. What movie?


STEW
Wait. Not yet. Just start with the movie theater. Picture this. Outside it’s a sunny afternoon in Spring. It’s almost unbearably bright and cheerful. You’re walking down the street, and you’re noticing that flowers are blooming. Trees are in bloom. Birds are singing. There’s a nice breeze, clouds are rolling by overhead. It’s warm.

SHIRLEY
So, why would I be in a movie theater on a day like that?

STEW
Because, don’t you get it? You’re all alone. All around you there are couples, and people with kids. People together. They’re all talking and laughing. And you’re all alone.

SHIRLEY
Okay. So I people watch?

STEW
No. You were people watching, but it just made you realize how you’re all alone. Get it?

SHIRLEY
So this gorgeous Spring day full of flowers and birds and happy people just depresses me?

STEW
Right.

SHIRLEY
Uh huh. Okay.

STEW
Yeah. It’s all just reminders of your aloneness, your essential aloneness. You’re not alone because you want to be alone, see? You’re alone because you’re an only child.

SHIRLEY
Hmmm.

STEW
Okay, just stay with me here. So, you go into the movie theater. It’s the middle of the afternoon. There’s nobody else in there. You don’t even know what’s playing, you just want to get away from the scene outside.

SHIRLEY
Okay, I go into the movie theater, I buy some popcorn and a soda and I find a seat.

STEW
You have your pick of seats, because the theater is empty. You sit right in the middle, middle row in the center. The best seat in the house.

SHIRLEY
Cool. I put my feet up and take a sip of my soda. Life is good.

STEW
No. Life is not good. There’s nobody else there! Don’t you get it? You’re all alone again.

SHIRLEY
Oh, sorry. Okay, I’m all alone. And then the movie starts, and it’s a……a comedy?

STEW
No. It’s not a comedy. Are you being a smart ass, or what? No. It’s a drama, a drama about a bad marriage. The woman is an alcoholic and the man is a workaholic. They can’t talk to each other at all. They have nothing in common. But they fight. He complains about her drinking and she complains that he’s never home. It’s a verbal bloodbath.

SHIRLEY
Jeez, no wonder nobody else is there.

STEW
What?

SHIRELY
In the theater. Nobody else is there. It’s terrible. Who would want to watch that?

STEW
Right! Now you’re getting it.

SHIRLEY
Getting what?

STEW
You’re getting it. What I’m trying to tell you.


SHIRLEY
Uh, what are you trying to tell me? I’m a little confused.

STEW
Don’t be thick. You’re putting me on.

SHIRLEY
No I’m not.

STEW
Stop. Don’t you see?
That’s what it’s like being an only child. See? It’s like sitting in a dark, empty theater all alone, watching a bad movie.

SHIRLEY
Oh.

STEW
Right. Do you get it now?

SHIRLEY
Can I ask you a question?

STEW
Sure. Shoot.

SHIRLEY
What the hell are you talking about? You’re not an only child!

STEW
That’s what I’m saying.

SHIRLEY
What’s what you’re saying? You haven’t said anything.

STEW
I’m saying…you’re going to make me explain this…I’m saying that I’m glad I’m not an only child.

SHIRLEY
Well why didn’t you just say that?

STEW
I did.

SHIRLEY
You did?

STEW
Yeah.

SHIRLEY
Well, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

STEW
Oh yeah?

SHIRLEY
Yeah.

STEW
And why is that may I ask?

SHIRLEY
Look, I was an only child, and I can tell you it was great! I got totally spoiled by both my parents. I got everything I ever wanted. It was spectacular. And I was glad, let me tell you, that I didn’t have any brothers or sisters that I had to share it with.

STEW
Oh yeah?

SHIRLEY
Yeah. So what are you saying? Are you saying you were glad you had brothers and sisters?

STEW
Hell no. I hated them all.

SHIRLEY
Now, that’s a reason.

STEW
A reason for what?

SHIRLEY
A reason. Don’t you get it? A reason…for going to the movies alone!