Movies In The Afternoon

MOVIES IN THE AFTERNOON
By Roseanne Lasater

Two people walk together through the park. They stop and sit on a park bench and watch the people walking by.

STEW
Thank God I wasn’t an only child.

SHIRLEY
Why do you say that?

STEW
Well, let’s see. Have you ever been the only person in a movie theater?

SHIRLEY
Um…no, I don’t think so.

STEW
Well, just imagine it.

SHIRLEY
Why would I be alone in a movie theater?

STEW
Okay, so wait. Just try it on, okay?

SHIRLEY
Okay. I’m alone in a movie theater. What movie?


STEW
Wait. Not yet. Just start with the movie theater. Picture this. Outside it’s a sunny afternoon in Spring. It’s almost unbearably bright and cheerful. You’re walking down the street, and you’re noticing that flowers are blooming. Trees are in bloom. Birds are singing. There’s a nice breeze, clouds are rolling by overhead. It’s warm.

SHIRLEY
So, why would I be in a movie theater on a day like that?

STEW
Because, don’t you get it? You’re all alone. All around you there are couples, and people with kids. People together. They’re all talking and laughing. And you’re all alone.

SHIRLEY
Okay. So I people watch?

STEW
No. You were people watching, but it just made you realize how you’re all alone. Get it?

SHIRLEY
So this gorgeous Spring day full of flowers and birds and happy people just depresses me?

STEW
Right.

SHIRLEY
Uh huh. Okay.

STEW
Yeah. It’s all just reminders of your aloneness, your essential aloneness. You’re not alone because you want to be alone, see? You’re alone because you’re an only child.

SHIRLEY
Hmmm.

STEW
Okay, just stay with me here. So, you go into the movie theater. It’s the middle of the afternoon. There’s nobody else in there. You don’t even know what’s playing, you just want to get away from the scene outside.

SHIRLEY
Okay, I go into the movie theater, I buy some popcorn and a soda and I find a seat.

STEW
You have your pick of seats, because the theater is empty. You sit right in the middle, middle row in the center. The best seat in the house.

SHIRLEY
Cool. I put my feet up and take a sip of my soda. Life is good.

STEW
No. Life is not good. There’s nobody else there! Don’t you get it? You’re all alone again.

SHIRLEY
Oh, sorry. Okay, I’m all alone. And then the movie starts, and it’s a……a comedy?

STEW
No. It’s not a comedy. Are you being a smart ass, or what? No. It’s a drama, a drama about a bad marriage. The woman is an alcoholic and the man is a workaholic. They can’t talk to each other at all. They have nothing in common. But they fight. He complains about her drinking and she complains that he’s never home. It’s a verbal bloodbath.

SHIRLEY
Jeez, no wonder nobody else is there.

STEW
What?

SHIRELY
In the theater. Nobody else is there. It’s terrible. Who would want to watch that?

STEW
Right! Now you’re getting it.

SHIRLEY
Getting what?

STEW
You’re getting it. What I’m trying to tell you.


SHIRLEY
Uh, what are you trying to tell me? I’m a little confused.

STEW
Don’t be thick. You’re putting me on.

SHIRLEY
No I’m not.

STEW
Stop. Don’t you see?
That’s what it’s like being an only child. See? It’s like sitting in a dark, empty theater all alone, watching a bad movie.

SHIRLEY
Oh.

STEW
Right. Do you get it now?

SHIRLEY
Can I ask you a question?

STEW
Sure. Shoot.

SHIRLEY
What the hell are you talking about? You’re not an only child!

STEW
That’s what I’m saying.

SHIRLEY
What’s what you’re saying? You haven’t said anything.

STEW
I’m saying…you’re going to make me explain this…I’m saying that I’m glad I’m not an only child.

SHIRLEY
Well why didn’t you just say that?

STEW
I did.

SHIRLEY
You did?

STEW
Yeah.

SHIRLEY
Well, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

STEW
Oh yeah?

SHIRLEY
Yeah.

STEW
And why is that may I ask?

SHIRLEY
Look, I was an only child, and I can tell you it was great! I got totally spoiled by both my parents. I got everything I ever wanted. It was spectacular. And I was glad, let me tell you, that I didn’t have any brothers or sisters that I had to share it with.

STEW
Oh yeah?

SHIRLEY
Yeah. So what are you saying? Are you saying you were glad you had brothers and sisters?

STEW
Hell no. I hated them all.

SHIRLEY
Now, that’s a reason.

STEW
A reason for what?

SHIRLEY
A reason. Don’t you get it? A reason…for going to the movies alone!