Script: Over Easy

(An older man and a younger woman enter a diner and sit down at a vacant table.)

CAROL
Thank you so much, Dr. Greisenhaft, for having breakfast with me today. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I've been struggling with this diagnosis for some time now. And I was afraid you wouldn't have time to see me, or that you would have forgotten who I am. It's been such a long time since I was your student, after all.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Yes, yes. Very well. Now, where was I?

CAROL
Oh. Well, you were about to explain your criteria for distinguishing between senile dementia and Alzheimer's. Specifically, distinguishing between Multi-Infarct and Alzheimer's.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh. Yes, of course. Had I started yet? Where was I?

CAROL
You were about to begin, Sir.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh, yes. Yes of course. Now let me see. You wanted to know about the differences between...What was it again?

CAROL
Senile dementia and Alzheimer's. You see, I have a case and it's been very difficult to diagnose. The patient displays symptoms of confusion, forgetfulness, wandering off, and laughing or crying at inappropriate times. It looks like it could be Multi-Infarct Dementia, but it could also be classical Alzheimer's. I've never seen anything like it before. And I do need to make a diagnosis before I can develop a treatment plan. So I was hoping you could help me, since you are an eminent expert in this field.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Hmm. Yes. Well, to begin with...

WAITRESS
What'll it be?

DR. GREISENHAFT
What's that you say?

WAITRESS
I said what'll it be? What do you want to eat?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh, great. I'm starved. Yes, indeed. Let's order, shall we?

CAROL
Yes, let's. By all means, doctor.

WAITRESS
So, what'll it be?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Well, just bring me the special. Without delay.

WAITRESS
Which one?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Which one?

WAITRESS
Yeah, which one. There are two. Up there (points) on the chalkboard. You see?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh. Okay, then. I'll have the top one.

WAITRESS
Good choice. How do you want 'em?

DR. GREISENHAFT
How do I want what?

WAITRESS
Well, your eggs, of course!

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh, my eggs. Well whatever you think is best.

WAITRESS
(sighs) Scrambled, over easy, or sunny side up?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Well whatever I said is fine.

WAITRESS
You haven't said anything. That's the point. (looks at Carol) Can you help me out here?

CAROL
Uh, doctor, the waitress needs to know if you want them scrambled, over easy or sunny side up.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Um, well I like my yolk soft but the white shouldn't be runny. Which one is that?

CAROL
He'll take his eggs over easy and I'll take the omelet. Thank you.

WAITRESS
Yeah. No problem. (leaves)

DR. GREISENHAFT
Was that woman trying to be difficult?

CAROL
No, I don't think so, doctor. No, she was very polite actually, and patient. So, you were saying doctor?

DR. GREISENHAFT
What? Was I saying something?

CAROL
About the differences?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Oh. Yes. The differences. You've got to be alert, you see. Because every case is different, you know. Unique. Totally unique. And as a doctor, you've got to learn to be flexible, and to embrace the unique features of each and every new case. You'll be a better doctor if you can learn to do that.

CAROL
Every case of dementia is unique? But doctor, there are two main types, two broad classifications of dementia...isn't that right?

DR. GREISENHAFT.
Who said anything about dementia?

CAROL
You did, doctor. You were explaining the differences to me. Don't you remember? To help me diagnose my case?

DR. GREISENHAFT.
Not really dear. But I do find that it's awfully hard to think on an empty stomach. Don't you find it that way?

CAROL
Yes, yes I do. I'm sure the food will be here soon. Uh, perhaps we should wait until we've eaten to continue.

DR. GREISENHAFT
Don't be silly, my dear. Let's continue our discussion. What were we talking about?

CAROL
Well, for example, this patient has no idea that he is forgetful. He's completely unaware. So at first I thought it had to be Alzheimer's. But on further examination, not all the signs were there. So that's when I started to wonder if it could be Multi-Infarct Dementia. What do you think, doctor?

DR. GREISENHAFT
Well I was thinking...we've been sitting here for quite a while, and I was wondering when the waitress is going to get here and take our order. I'm starved.